Little Thoughts

Welcome to my blog/ diary/ review and general musings page. Here you will find articles on everything from philosophy to sex to pop culture. I am a huge perfume fan so you will also find reviews of unisex scents on this page too.

On screening...

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Screening. Ah! That wonderful and riveting intricacy that every client and provider looks forward to. By now as a client you've probably come across numerous screening processes, from the plain text from a lady that says 'I'm free in an hour' to the Gestapo interrogation that asks for your last 5 year work history. I am not a plain Jane nor am I a Fraulein Gilda, I like to be in the Goldilocks zone. I find full on screening a massive pain- It takes up time, destroys any sense of romanticism and is just generally awkward all round. Personally,  all I need from you is a deposit. I will do a small screening myself via trusted confidential provider sources and if all is good then we are good to go. 

Having spent time with clients who are highly influential who cannot be seen in public with me (let alone dinner) I understand that sometimes screening is difficult. Speaking frankly, If I was a CEO, in politics, the public eye or open to blackmail I would not give my work details to a complete stranger- no matter how fancy the website or number of twitter followers she has. Just as I would not give my personal address or name to you, the client. It poses risks for both of us. So how to get round this? If you are in this position you can send an email explaining your situation, along with an NDA from your lawyer. Upon both of us signing you can then send a deposit. Done and done. 

What if you are not in this position and don't want to send a deposit or screen at all? Its a pass for me I'm afraid. I won't go into the whys here, if you need to know why then we won't be a good match.

References can be problematic. You might have a long standing provider who you don't want to find out that you are seeing another lady. You might only do this once in a blue moon and can't remember the last providers name. It might simply be none of my business. Providers are so diverse in their tastes that what might be a good fit for your previous lady might not be for me, and vice versa. Discretion is key and this is why I don't require references, purely for my own privacy. Whilst I understand your need for privacy as a client, you do need to give me something as a guarantee that you will turn up to your booking and will provide a safe space for me. Screening is for both of us and will ensure we have a great time on equal terms xx

 

 

Seaweed, vomit and the most sought after

perfume ingredient

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Why I love Ambergris

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Along with pure oud and animal musk's ambergris is one of the most sought after perfume ingredients of all time and one that has been used for centuries as a fragrance tincture and stabiliser. But what exactly is it? To put simply- sperm whale vomit that has hardened, washed up on the shore and then dried out. When sperm whales eat giant squid or octopus they cannot break their beaks down and the result is a solid waxy lump that the whale then throws up from their intestines. So its not really whale vomit.... more like giant squid vomit :/

 

My first ever encounter with this 'floating gold' was with a sample of Silence the Sea (www.strangelovenyc.com) and my heart nearly stopped.

 

Wow

 

No really.

 

WOW.

 

I felt like I had been kicked into the waves of the Atlantic from a wooden plank straight into the belly of a whale. Salt, seaweed, driftwood, moss, sweet rotting flesh and faecal matter. Yes- there is a tinge of faecal matter because it comes from the belly of a whale that had the ambergris stewing there for god knows how long. But, to me at least, its a slight sweet undertone. It does not make you smell like poop. The is is the most realistic marine scent I have ever experienced.

 

Male or female? Its unisex but as a female I'm tempted to pair it with another perfume oil, such as amber to warm it up or iris to give it a cold sweetness. For a more masculine direction I would go with cedar or again amber. This is not for everyone- you will either love it or hate it and most people will see it as an 'art' perfume, one that's good for the collection but not really to wear.

I say be brave and wear it! Wearing Silence of the Sea is one hell of a statement. It's unique enough to get comments, but quiet enough to not be  overpowering- quiet like thunder. Would I wear this on a date? Yes but only paired with another oil. I am quite happy smelling like octopus beak on my own but fear the gentleman in my life might run for the door if I wore it bare. I will definitely be buying a bottle and I will definitely wear it. You have been warned...!

What Kanye West and Dominic Cummings have in common

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What do the critically acclaimed yet eccentric artist Kanye West and the Machiavellian idealist Dominic Cummings have in common? Absolutely zero at first sight but look closer and they both represent the same goals, ethics and ambitions-and each wields enormous influence on their followers and in the wider world. 

Both are geniuses in their field, both are ridiculed and hated by the media and the public. West has consistently pushed musical boundaries and challenged the zeitgeist in both fashion and art, working as an intern at Fendi at the height of his fame. Cummings has irreversibly changed the political landscape in Britain and Europe with his role in Brexit, spurred on by his mission to redefine left and right. What both have in common is a dogged ambition to change society as we know it. And both are on their way to achieving their aims.

While West was hugely criticised for his presidential run attempt in 2020 the mere fact that he has the drive and the Kardashian money meant that he could of actually ran if he had chosen to follow through with his campaign. And a significant portion of the American population would have voted for him. Cummings harbours political power but through the back door, out of sight in the shadows. He explicitly stated in his 2021 BBC interview that he was actively trying to oust Boris Johnson and install his own people- who adhered to his political ideology.

Hailing from polar opposite environments, education and industries they both are major disrupters to the norm. West wants to start a new religion, Cummings wants to start a new political utopia, But the one single thing they have in common is a binary view of the world in which everyone should be a part of their dream, no mater what the means. Don't poo-poo seemingly harmless eccentrics such as West and Cummings, They are changing the way you thin without you even realising it.

The Roaring twenties and the lead balloon

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In January 2021 trapped in my apartment I  often thought about lockdown ending and how I would celebrate. I had fantasies of gorging at my favourite restaurant a la Scarface, going abroad hassle free with my newly jabbed biceps and drinking Aviation cocktails all night in a dimly lit Mayfair bar, laughing and cajoling with a heaving den of strangers like it was D-Day. Hugging and kissing each other that it was finally over. It was going to be like the roaring twenties (geddit?), we were the brave ones- forget the Spanish flu or ebola- Corona was the biggie and we fought it. And we have. But not quite.

I did have my aviations, I did eat lots at my favourite restaurant but to be honest the rest has been all a bit of a damp squib. I'm not so worried about the virus now but more the effects of the virus on the economy and society at large and more importantly all the problems we could shush under the carpet whilst corona took hold. Those irritating problems (Brexit, climate change, stability in the Middle East)  are rearing their ugly heads again now that Covid is under control. Corona was the perfect excuse not to deal with these issues and now they are hitting us in the face with a breeze block.

This is the lead balloon that is stopping the extravagant partying and the free for all from happening. Its hard to relax when half of Europe is ablaze with wild fires, financial institutions are facing shockwaves not just from covid but from new tech economic disrupters, and a growing inferiority complex about the UK's role in the world. And the dreaded vaccine resistant variant to top it off. 

How to get rid of this dull heavy weight that hovers over our heads whilst we try and reclaim normality? I think we have been unrealistic and impatient- myself included. In thinking that this is just a blip of our generation we have proven ourselves to be naïve, molly coddled and arrogant. We will having our roaring twenties eventually but we need patience and direct action to tackle these problems head on. We need to accept that there is no definitive end date and that whilst we can't get rid of the lead balloon for a while to come, we can at least work at making it lighter and push it aside to reveal the sun behind.

Review- Beaufort's Iron Duke Parfum 

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One word- WOW. If I could write the word wow a hundred times I would. Iron Duke is a unisex fragrance on paper but is really for men and is a beast mode perfume on steroids. Created by British perfumer Julie Dunkley it is incredibly potent, pungent and will make heads turn- but not in an obnoxious way- it is incredibly complex and nuanced.

Its accords are gunpowder, leather and tobacco and rum- a combination that is boastful but makes sense and compliment each other greatly. This is a 'once in a while' perfume- not for everyday and perfect for winter. As a woman I will wear it- purely because its such an unexpected scent for a woman but only when I'm feeling extra confident! You can buy Iron Duke online and in Joyoy's of Mayfair and I do recommend you buy a sample vial or go in store to try before you buy. 

Whilst this parfum is only for the brave hearted I think its an amazing scent and a great addition to your collection.

Why Amateur Porn will always beat the studios

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Firstly, there is nothing wrong with Hollywood porn. I enjoy that it is obviously choreographed, with ring lighted close up shots and men and women whose bodies would put even the most ardent gym enthusiast to shame. The clips are shot in gorgeous LA houses and alongside the hardcore scenes you can also pay for more 'cinematic' films that have plotlines and classy direction. But there's one problem- and its a big one.

Its boring. Every woman looks the same- They are either heavily tattooed,  timid plain janes or busty blondes. The men are shaved within an inch of their life, they use Trimix (an erection medication which they inject directly into their penis) and the same camera angles are used over and over again. The major studios have tried to keep viewers engaged by attempting faux amateur porn- but it just doesn't work. Even though its shot on an apparent mobile phone, in bad light in a smaller apartment it still too 'perfect' and the voyeur isn't fooled.

The studios are selling a fantasy of course- but what they don't understand is that porn by its very nature- whether it be on a taken on a 3 year old Samsung or the latest 4K camera- is enough. We are surrounded by so many fake entities- social media, political PR scandals and advertising campaigns and we crave for the last bastion of honesty- sex- to be real. Its the last part of us that where we can truly be ourselves. Sex is ugly, beautiful, messy, awkward, life changing and watching fake sex just won't cut it anymore.

Amateur porn is now more popular than professional porn because we want to feel normal. When we see a muscular hairless man with a 10 inch penis giving oral to a plastic model who is faking an orgasm we are satiated. But when we see a real couple in a hotel room who are genuinely excited and 'going for it' we have opened up a door into reality. We can compare our bodies with theirs and not feel inferior, we can see all the out there or 'weird' toys they play with and think 'I like that too- I'm not so weird after all!' Once tat door has been opened its very hard to go back to watching the Hollywood clips with any real depth or satisfaction. 

Review- Dior Tobacolor Parfum

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Tobacolor is Dior's latest unisex release to its La Collection Privee line of perfumes and has been met with much excitement. Dior has a solid perfume line and I was very excited about this new release but its a real disappointment. The main accords are tobacco, plum and honey and is a 'hot-cold blend that combines the scent of hookah embers with fresh, fruity notes' but its not. Its a carbon copy of Maison Margiela's By the Fireplace which if you have smelt is a cheap novelty fragrance that reeks of only one note- burnt embers. 

Not burnt embers of a wistful nostalgia of camping and sunsets, but rather of putting your head in a putrid MDF ash pit.

There is no tobacco- no fruit- just burnt wood and caramel tones. Its as if the team at Dior wanted to make an upmarket version of By the Fireplace by adding a little sweetness to Tobacolor. There is one particular accord in Margiela's perfume which gives it its  sickly smoky smell and Dior has obviously lifted this note direct. Its a real shame. There are so many different tobacco notes that could have been used and the smokiness could have been much more nuanced. 

I personally don't recommend this perfume, there are much higher quality tobacco scents out there that are at the same price point but much more refined.